Tales From The Pantry: A Butler's Diary

From the pantry of an historic country house comes the ongoing diary of its butler, Mr Dean Fielding. I shall be giving you a glimpse of the family I serve and of the lives both 'Below Stairs' and 'Above'. I hope you follow my jottings daily.

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Location: United Kingdom

Have been butler here for over 15 years. Having previously, and unusually for these days, worked my way up from footman to under-butler to my current post. You can now follow me on Twitter via: http://www.twitter.com/butlerfielding

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Note To 'Sir Walter Quintin'

Just a quick note this Saturday morning. A poster calling himself 'Sir Walter Quintin' posted with great gusto on this blog overnight. He posted with so much gusto, in fact, that he repeated himself roughly fourteen times (at the last count). Now, I am not one of life's great conversationalists I admit. I could not exactly hold members of the Carlton Club entranced with witty anecdotes about my global travels. In short, I sometimes repeat my favourite stories. I am guilty of this, as the best of us are. Fourteen times, however, is a little overwhelming. Not entirely sure that spamming a post about my sister's health was particularly pleasant either. Not really British, that. But, I have found that worse things happen at sea, and even worse things happen on the internet.

'Sir Walter' was rather offended by this blog. Offended by practically everything associated with it: content, writing style, its veracity, probably even the colour of my socks annoyed him. In short, my humble jottings almost gave poor Sir Walter apoplexy. He felt a little like Senator Joseph McCarthy would have felt if, on a crisp Christmas morning, he had skipped down the staircase in his beautiful Wisconsin home, and excitedly unwrapped his first Christmas present only to find that Father Christmas had left him a copy of 'Das Kapital' by Karl Marx.

I removed most of 'Sir Walter's' repetitive posts because they were simply the same thing over and over again. But, I enjoy debate, and would never willingly censor anybody's comments. I have left one of Sir Walter's messages on the post 'Mr Forrester's Nocturnal Tour' which can be found below. The poor man deserves to be heard. Hopefully he has now settled down with a stiff drink to soothe the nerves that this blog had unwittingly frayed.

It is never my intention to offend or upset anybody. Apologies if I have.


Anonymous Augustine Mulliner said...

Tut! (And I mean it to sting!) These comments are simply outrageous! Ignore them entirely, Fielding old sport, is my advice. And his "Sir Quintin" tends to prove that he cannot be a reliable source on butlerine duties or anything remotely to do with the upperclasses. Faugh!

10:45 am  
Anonymous Tim said...

Indeed! Preach on Mulliner!

Just read the extraordinarily humorless post by 'Sir Quintin' (oh dear, my good sir, if you want to rebuke Fielding it would be a good start to actually get your title correct. Not a good start.). A pox on you Sir!

I am quite sure he is a baronet. He displays the same evil qualities (Sir Geoffrey aside of course)that is inherent in the species. Perhaps he could challenge Sir Geoffrey to a fisticuffs contest on the village green. Battle of the Baronets: I think even Mr Miles would turn up for that one.

Might raise some money for the church roof fund or something. And I am sure Sir Geoffrey would defend his loyal butler.

1:01 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't quite remember how I came upon this page. I do believe you are one-of-a-kind in blogland; I find your communications to be quite interesting. I am a Yank. If you'd bear any curiosity, I can be located at www.sereniome.wordpress.com It may or may not be to your interests. It is, just as this, a journal. I do believe I will add you to my blogroll. This is quite a nice retreat from the norm of what I see out there. ;). Leeann

5:15 pm  
Anonymous 'Llywelyn' (The Lodge Keeper) said...

Well, "Sir Quintin" couldn't be more inaccurate if he tried. I KNOW 'Fielding' (not his real name of course) is a genuine butler. His writing also entertains me. Even when he paints a less than flattering portrait of me!

I know for a fact that he is feeling a little low about the attack on his honour made by the rather malicious, and as one poster said, humourless, faux knight of the realm.

I am only breaking my silence to defend a friend of mine. I have not told 'Fielding' that I was intending to post, but no doubt he will find out soon enough.

Best wishes to all who read this blog. I may well put up a blog of my own in future, which would give my own views on 'Carstone House'. I believe those waiting for a blog from 'Sir Geoffrey' are in for a long wait, however!

6:47 pm  
Blogger Tea & Margaritas in My Garden said...

Sir Walter Quintin does indeed run off at the mouth. I happen as many others do...to enjoy your stories very much and find it interesting to see what life as a butler would be like.
It`s been awhile, I`m afraid, since I`ve been able to visit, but I have as always, enjoyed catching up! And bravo to Mr. Llywelyn for coming out and defending you. Tell him he would have an adience for his blog as well! How interesting to experience a small glimpse of another type of life from this side of the ocean :)


9:11 pm  
Anonymous Bren said...

Your blog, Mr. Fielding is one of the most fascinating and well-written I've had the priveledge of reading. Please keep up the good work and ignore the trolls in baronet's clothing.

As for Llewlyn creating a blog. I'd love to read that one too!

Thanks for keeping us posted.

With best wishes for you and your fellow staff at Carstone.


1:01 am  
Anonymous The Mixer said...

I'm of two minds in replying to this thread. On one hand, the first rule of the internet is "Never Feed the Trolls!" so I'm reluctant to stroke its ego by replying.

On the other hand, I want to offer Mr. Fielding my sympathy, support and encouragement after the troll's unwarranted attack.

On the understanding that I am in no way feeding the troll, I would just like to add that what this blog needs is fewer and better Quintons.

3:47 am  
Blogger the_Butler said...

If I wasn't so busy at the moment I would read all that came before this excellent post. I too am a Butler Having learned my trade from the boot room up. Though my training was mostly done while serving in the Household Cavalry Officers Mess. Now more sedately employed in a lovely old country Manor House. Keep up the good work Mister Fielding and I shall look forward to catching up on your back catalogue and future posts.

12:25 am  
Anonymous Charlotte Mulliner said...

Please, pay no attention to this mean-spirited person. I believe the technical name for Sir Quintin is "troll." All bloggers seem to get them sooner or later.

10:24 pm  
Blogger Tierrie said...

Well done Fielding.

1:39 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I found this diary quite by accident and was fondly surprised to find myself reading all of it in one sitting. Certainly the best I've read in a long time and I shall look back often in the hopes of more.

Superbly done, Mr. Fielding. Please don't be discouraged - there are clearly those of us who relish such witty and interesting postings. Not the conversationalist? Indeed, you are quite the writer.

I eagerly look forward to more.

3:17 pm  
Blogger Keegan said...

i have been reading your diary with great interest for months now, silently. i break the silence to make a conjecture: a google search for "peter forrester, psychic" leads on its first hit to this page. if mr. forrester is interested in himself to the extent that, i suspect, most psychics are, then it does not seem improbable that he found your page, disliked your post on his abilities, and titled himself "sir quinton" to respond.

but this is just a guess. please keep writing; i enjoy your posts immensely.

9:26 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hope everything is well, Mr. Fielding. I have since moved to blogger after too much drama at my present location. Will be opening there with an Easter greeting this upcoming Sunday. Again...hope all is well. Sincerely, Lee (www.sereniome.wordpress.com - to change to http://sereniolee.blogspot.com). Hope to see you post again soon.

11:19 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You have no idea how much you make me laugh! Whether intentional or not, the wry humour in these musings is more than enough to keep one reading for hours. Were you to one day compile a book, albeit using pseudonyms and alterations to keep your blissfully oblivious employers still blissfully oblivious, I would most definitely buy a copy.

1:29 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You haven't upset anyone Mr. Fielding! You're blog is a wonderful insight into your life, we want more! (The "we" is your readers, your true readers.) Don't be put off! Keep blogging.

Best Wishes,


3:19 pm  
Blogger Mr Fielding said...

My word, thank you for the torrent of kind comments. The blog shall return tomorrow. I think the words of wisdom came from that battle-scarred veteran of this site, The Mixer: ignoring trolls is probably beneficial to my general health.

10:37 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We obviously adore reading your public diary and so many people will be thrilled to see more posts.
Now that you are a 'certified' blogger, with your very own troll post, you can relax in the knowledge that you have truly 'made it' in the web world :/
No one worth reading gets completely ignored by at least one or two nitwits of the "Sir Quinton" (guffaw!) type. Really got a smirk out of his poor grammar, as well, LOL!
Thanks for letting us know you'll be back soon, Fielding, O Shining Beacon of the Pantry :D
With best regards,
Miss K

10:27 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Lord, man, do you ever keep us waiting... You're just lucky that we like you, you know.

Impatiently grumbling,

11:29 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Mr. Fielding: I hope my own very bumpy entrance to blogging hasn't added to any delay you may have in posting again. Your welcome and encouragements to me (when I was at wordpress) still help these days. My blogface is ever changing, as I have yet to find real 'comfortability' in this trek. I know how it is to be unfairly treated as a blogger, and only awhile blogging myself. It is categorically wrong, the unkindness out there. I do hope my own ridiculous drama hasn't aided in your being away this long? Warmly, Lee*

1:56 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just discovered this wonderful blog. I've noticed that there are no new entries. Has Mr. Fielding decided to stop posting?

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