Tales From The Pantry: A Butler's Diary

From the pantry of an historic country house comes the ongoing diary of its butler, Mr Dean Fielding. I shall be giving you a glimpse of the family I serve and of the lives both 'Below Stairs' and 'Above'. I hope you follow my jottings daily.

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Location: United Kingdom

Have been butler here for over 15 years. Having previously, and unusually for these days, worked my way up from footman to under-butler to my current post. You can now follow me on Twitter via: http://www.twitter.com/butlerfielding

Friday, May 05, 2006

A Week Of Calm

Another few days drift by without a post. Oh dear. It seems to have become more of a journal than a diary. Nevertheless, onwards and upwards, what is past is past, etc etc.

Not an awful lot has happened since I last posted an entry here. We have had a quiet week. It is sometimes the way after a large event like the Monarch's Ball, that Carstone House, like a middle-aged former athlete, now finds that it needs to catch its breath after such an exertion.

Sunday will see the return of Mr Miles, who is entertaining some literary friends; the publication of his book of verse 'The Salmon' is imminent. My Master Sir Geoffrey is not particularly looking forward to this event, and he will try to stay out of the way as much as possible. To him, any poetry written after Alfred, Lord Tennyson died is just plain balderdash and totally incomprehensible. Lady Carstone will play hostess, which she will do with some aplomb.

I am on the hunt today for a new hammer for the dinner gong. I am afraid the old one snapped yesterday evening. The details of which I would rather not go into.


Anonymous Vladimir Brusiloff said...


Like the story of Sir Gregory Parsloe and the Prawns, the story of the "snapped" dinner gong hammer demands to be told. Did you whack it over the head of a particularly cheeky under-footman in a moment of madness?

My weapon of choice is ze mashie-niblickski.

Zank you,
Vladimir Brusiloff

11:17 pm  
Anonymous The Mixer said...

I suspect the incident had something to do with the type of late-night shenanigans at Branksome Towers described in "The Voice From the Past".

"From somewhere below there had come the deep baying of a Bishop on the scent. (...) Outside, they could hear the noise of the hue-and-cry. The original strength of the company appeared to have been augmented by the butler and a few sporting footmen. (...) Somewhere downstairs footmen seemed to be falling over one another: and once there came the shrill cry of a Hunting Bishop stymied by a hat-stand. (...) 'Hark!' she said, holding up a finger as a sonorous booming noise filled the night, accompanied by a flood of rich oaths in what appeared to be some foreign language, possibly Hindustani. 'I rather think father has tripped over the dinner-gong.'"

Something along those lines, I fancy, must have taken place during the night-watches.

The Mixer

7:48 am  
Anonymous Aunt Agatha said...

We are now May 25 and the calm is deafening. Is everything all right, Fielding?

9:24 pm  
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